so I was forced to go to church and all these babies were screaming and I said “we wouldn’t be having this problem if the church supported abortion” and the guy next to me almost had a heart attack
(via genericanimegirl)
MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
(via its-barack-o-llama)
PE is 5% exorcise and 95% embarrassment
what kind of gym class do you have that exorcises their kids
(via the-po-po)
oppa spongebob style
thank god that tumblr has allowed me to email this post to all of my family members
(via toolazytolive)
reindeers don’t even have wings how do they fly
reindeer dont fly and santa isnt real
(via the-po-po)
THAT’S A FUCKING STRAIGHT JACKET FOR BABIES WHAT THE FUCK DON’T ADD A LITTLE SMILEY FACE WITH SOME HEARTS AND PUT THE WORD SNUGGLE IN THERE THAT’S HORRIFYING
(Source: 4gifs, via why-are-you-shaped-like-a-pear)
I KEEP THINKING ABOUT DINOSAUR BONES LIKE SOME OF THEM ARE SO FUCKING BIG YOU KNOW PEOPLE USED TO DIG THOSE UP AND THINK THEY WERE FROM DRAGONS THE LARGEST SKULL EVER FOUND WAS OVER 8 GODDAMN FEET LONG FROM A TOROSAURUS THATS FUCKING INSANE IM SO PUMPED ABOUT THIS I LOV E DINOSAURS LETS GO BURN DOWN THE POST OFFICE
(via fahrenheit-469)
coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag
(via idiotshitbaby)
